‘I’ll have a coffee please’ said the man after a disproportionate period of contemplation, and chin stroking.
‘how?’ answered the barrister in his wig and blackshirt.

‘Excuse me?’

‘How will you your coffee?’

‘In a mug, I suppose, unless you’ve progressed now beyond the necessity of containing a liquid in order to consume it? Unless it is that you can now mould a translucent pocket of air in which my dark broth shall be suspended for the duration of its want? Or perhaps it’s a specification of the type you desire? A clear articulation of how you are to combine the cow’s milk and the ground filtered and processed bean? Yes…’

His eyes dropped to the white nametag pinned beneath the blackshirts embroidered logo.
‘Yes, Gary, I sense that is what you wished to decipher. By jove! I am doing well today. “Did you get that Cassandra?” (the speech marks are to delineate the particular vocal inflection and pitch this man uses when talking to his wife)

‘I did Steven and I don’t think I was the only one’ She responds twirling her head around in a survey of each allocated seating booth to inspect the collage of disinterest and outrage etched on their faces.

‘Well? Isn’t it marvellous how your husband succeeded in deducing such a conclusion, succeeded in decoding the true intent of Gary here’s question given the meagre provisions he had to work with? This is what we once called “relying on One’s wit’s’” it was on the curriculum when I went to school- in fact moments of such analytic prowess as we just witnessed are when I’m grateful for the tireless efforts of Mrs Hatchet’s tuition!”

‘Indeed’ said Cassie

Gary yawned provocatively, stretching his mouth to its full O shape so that the rattle of his tonsils was visible as he inhaled with creased eyes.

‘Of course it go’s without saying-

‘thyngudhnes fahhthat’ he barely masked with the reflexive exhale.

‘Pardon?’

‘I do believe he said thank goodness for that’ Steven’

‘How very peculiar… Now where was I? Needless to say…’
(An inaudible combination of sibilants)

‘Wits appear to be in rather short supply in media res, one might even go as far to say that they’ve become something of a hot commodity. Gosh commodity how extraordinarily red of me, comrade!’

He wrinkled his nose until it resembled a furrowed carpet of un-lustrous fabric and with a wink positioned his fist against his head sternly. If it helps imagine this posture as remaining throughout the duration of Steven’s sojourn here.
‘Well I’ll have burnt soya milk flagellated and anesthetized by the phallic aluminium screeching steamer- poured clumsily on top of a 6 shot carcass espresso, but I’m not sure about him’

The removal of Cassie’s enthusiastic and seductive half-squint from Gary to her husband left the former felling like he was tanning on a beach as the clouds obscured the sun. Her cashmere pullover hung over her elegantly sloping shoulders to mould the sinuous curve to her buttocks in that dignified evolution of the buffalo spirit hood, and her skirt was pleated like a Japanese fan with its twin slits proudly exhibiting stretches of tanned slender thigh, which led to knees like nobs of butter and progressively intertwining golden calf’s, one of which rubbed against the other as though sharpening it. Their surface Gary now mentally traversed with his mouth, delicately grazing his interloping patted kisses towards the warm sweat fringed periphery of her skirt as Stephen responded;

“Well that sounds decidedly vulgar darling, we don’t want Gary to get any idea’s after all!” Oh I do wish you’d abandon that strange poise of anticipation, lingering behind that till as though my deliberation has hit the pause button on your control panel! Propped up in blank contemplation of me, like I have a Medusa gaze. Ha! Why am I even wasting my breath? Your hearing is probably only responsive to Coffee jargon. For you this is just an indecipherable preamble to a finely enunciated ‘Cup A Chino” just my long and dwindling way of declaring my desire for a “Latte” right?”

At this Gary moved over to unhook the twin filters and with a perfect economy of movement was on the verge of bashing the black compacted patties into the metal draw when Steven intervened.

“No! I didn’t mean I actually wanted either a’ He paused and exaggeratedly mimed the toxic phrase to the barrister ‘or a’ his mouth formed the second order.

‘I haven’t yet placed my order- look what I’m trying to achieve here is nothing less than your personal de-institutionalisation my man!’

He whispered ‘is that a real word?’ into where he approximated his wife’s ear lay beneath her raunchily untidy ‘dirty’ blonde hair. This approximation was inaccurate however and prompted Cassie to coyly tuck several aureate strands in the ravine behind her ear. This incidentally was the furthest extremity that Gary’s fantastic exploration had now reached, haven taken in every mown canyon, toned and smooth plain and radiant range since its outset from the calf, his mouth now enacting a tender nibble along the outermost ridge of her ears Pythagorean spiral.

Having received a not altogether definitive nod for feedback, Steven continued;
‘Yes your de-institutionalisation! The preliminary stage of which is almost complete, and involves deprogramming your responses, clearing out your synthetic etiquette and mirror-honed charm to leave room for authentic human reaction to blossom. Now, evidently, given how deeply your training has been ingrained into you this will be only the first stage in what will prove a long and arduous process, and I am afraid is as far as one man can proceed along the schedule of deprogramming. I have dutifully performed my role, ‘primed you’ as it were for the next stage, which will be carried forth in a few days by my associates- who are chiefly concerned with reconfiguring your emotions. Now that I’m done here, in the meantime I’ll have a, umm…’

His tongue was actually now inside her ear, probing slowly in the way the expedition had become so practiced at throughout its travels, treating this final glorious orifice as a sort of victory lap- a vindication of everything they had learnt and discovered.
‘….a skinny latte?’

‘Certainly sir, and where will you be sitting?’

‘Just over by the window on the sofa’s over…’ he gestured in the direction ‘there, you see?’

‘Fantastic, that’s £4.40 please sir.’ He handed over a £20 and Gary issued the amount of Change specified on the screen in front of him.

‘We’ll bring those over to your table when they’re ready’

‘Great thanks’

‘Wonderful thank you’ Cynthia withdrew with Steven close behind over to their green couch in the corner.
Gary looked up from the till draw,

‘Good afternoon, what can I get for you today?’